100th post
im so honored
NOT -__-
managed to rush finish my warcraft book ytd till 3am+ again
as i read
i feel more and more disgusted by the love between Tyrande and Malfurion
frm the start of book was like, aww so sweet
now its yuck cant wait to read pass this
hai
i think now nth much to blog le.
guess stop here





bye

ytd j koh called.. -__-
call me do hmwk
and some other stuffs
well she say if i dun hand in de eng compre by tml
she'll call and irritate me until i do it _ll_
well guess wat,
I JUST FINISHED IT
EAT MY DUST >:D

grandma came today
gonna spend a night here
i volunteered to sleep sofa :D
i so kind wor :)

been huggin onto my warcraft book again
reaching the mid of the third and final book of the epic trilogy
Night elves
creatures which inhabits one of the many worlds,
Azeroth
in Azeroth
are m,any different species of creatures living in it
fubolgs, taurens, dwarves and last but not least
the night elves
at that moment ocs and humans have not come into existence
the night elves worshipped their Mother Moon
Elune, the Moon Goddess
every living thing had a leader amongst themselves to guide them
so does these night elves
its a queen
one which is beloved by all
she who radiates an aura
which sends all who stands before her to kneel down in respect
and admiration..
she was Queen Azshara, Light of the Lights, Flower of the Moon
driven mad by desperate obsession with perfection
she turned to Lord Sageras
the lord of the demons
king of the destroyers
they titled Sageras as their 'God'
and some things obviously came into my mind
if people can name anything as God
how we know if there's truly a God there?
like, wats real and wats not
i dunno
in the book, anything which possesses great amount of power
is worthy to gain the title as a God
hmm..

anyw its a really good book
i din sleep until like 3am+ just to read as much of it as i can
if Queen Azshara is truly as beautiful and perfect
( other den the madness caused but perfection)
i sure hope i can meet her :D
at least, some portrait or fan art of her
lol nvm


moodle
wtf is that?
noodles made of milk?
or made of beef?
come on ahs, dr boon
i doubt u got ur PhD for nth
get a btr name for it would cha?
HeyMath is bad enough of it alrdy
so is EnjoyEdu
and now u throw a MOODLE at us
how fascinating la -_____-
nvm.
i think i'll stop here
make some note for my e lit poem
last year i nvr dared to show the poem which i wrote according to my feelings
but now im not afraid
even if they'd send me to life-rehab centers after reading
or councelling
wait...
ok mayb i'll not say everything --"
dun wanna waste time
ltr cher look at me differently i also dun like
nm


sweet goodbyes ;;
goodbye

mothers suck
fathers suck worst
in short, parents are a heck of a trouble and headache

in de past 2 days had some geat dota games and loads of lousy ones
and, for de first time i think for wat im gonna do next abt THESE
while dota-ing
i cleared my mind
made my stand
i shall be an impenetrable fortress
fending off the seduction and evil powers of women
the only females i'll love are those that i draw
coz they dun hurt my feelings at all
no woman will ever sweep me off my feet again
at least for now
i hope.. :S
coz i just dun have the time for the pain again
thanks a lot huh, WOMEN
found everything i've did
a total waste of time
seriously
everything i do
there's no reward to it
even if there is a reward
im always not good enough for it
so, i decided to quit

in short
I got over YOU
and the rest of the females

to help
i got no interest or whatsoever in girls frm my sch
and there's no way i'll get myself attracted to girls frm other schs
even if i would i'd give up shortly after coz confirm plus chop no hope
so, i'd be away of the evil clutches of women for a time being

i realised im super anti-social now
hardly sms anyone
sometimes, i dao ppl even -_-
can say like the after effects of certain things
i realised i've become cold and heartless
coz when i first saw my grandfather lying on the bed, skinny and malnutrition looking
my first thoughts were
a pathetic old man
well lookin on the past things he did
i'd say he deserve that title
thou now i felt a lil bit pitiful for him
nontheless he's still quite pathetic

parents should be back soon
gtg

bye

zZz
was dota-ing halfway
heard a click sound and i dc
99% parents woke up and off internet
managed to continue using is coz accidentally connect
into carissa pakr's free wireless internet
connect too low
cant dota
so blog
tml sure die
confirm plus chop kenna scolding
funny they in rush in and scream
hmm..

btw, its 4am now
yep, hai
hmwk HAVENT START
sian
tml do bah
chiong!!!!!!!!
so parents wont scream whole they
they can if they want
horrible
cant concentrate
probably wake up at 1pm, or 2?
if bad, 3pm
if parents purposely come wake me up, its gonn be 10am+..
tml will be like a thriller movie
wats gonn happen next?!
will i survive?!
or drown in parents' screams?!!
hai....














some things
i wanna say but i dun dare
gonna say now, in chinese
which u think
or used to think
is romantic
不管你喜不喜欢我
我想让你知道
我眼睛里只有你一个女人
我不会不信你
对你说的话每一句都是真心的
当你被人家欺负
我一定第一时刻来保护你
不会骂你
会天天关心你
睡觉一定会梦到你
做功课时也会想你
心理和脑子里
就一定只有你
不管你喜不喜欢我
我永远都会在这里支持你






my words probably wouldnt strike ur heart anymore
but clearing my mind
sure helps quite a bit
wish u luck
hope ot will have a different view of you
hope he'll change the way he look at u
change for the btr
u have my blessings
my spirit
and my soul..



good bye ;;who's there to give me a blessing?

haiz
hol hmwk havent start
gg
last week le
i think i gonna cut short dota and start hmwk
quite long nvr post
dota till around like now
1am plus
vent anger in dota
go around fuck ppl
hear them scream
assisting also happy la
nvm...
i feel like im losing interest in life
gah, wanna fall into a nvr ending sleep
stupid ass
gonna have guitar lesson ltr at 9am
sobs
need grab some sleep soon
HAI...............














you have a 'open' blog now
you told me
i was like ' doesnt matter'
wats de point la?
ur URL speaks everything
tyanloves-him
the him, is either God or ot
im not interested
now im thinkin
thinkin abt the past
i cant believe that or a second there
in the past
i thought i had a chance
like, cant wait to see u
sms u
and cant forget how happy i was when u used to call me regularly
now like u dun give a shit sia
nvm
now, I dun give a shit
i try to make myself look/be uninterested in u
try to make u think that u're nth in my eyes anymore
not true of course
but, i scared u'll get sad or wat
so de daily good nights are still there
gah.. i said that the 'lyndsey times' were worst than this
i was wrong
DEAD wrong















when i say all these
i sound like i want her out of my life
it's true, yet not true
to explain it further
i dun wanna talk to her but i want her to talk to me so i can talk to her
get it? or not
either ways, non of ur business
and everyone out there pls treat her well
take it as a favour frm me













GAH IM OFF
bye

juz realised today
that there ARE ppl reading my blog
strange, nvr leave tag
nvm.
anyw, pls dun hate tyan
its not her fault
we're just not..
meant to be tgt..
im learning to face and accept this sad fact
i hope u guys will too






today was sian
slept till 2pm
din get a chance to dota coz 4.30 need go for tuition
tml bah
juz cancelled a movie with tyan tml
no mood
i juz wanna fuck the comp whole day, ya know wat im sayin?
prove to ppl
that ima no lifer
amnyw im not the one she wanna be with
so, wat the heck
cant force
and..
as much i'd like to see her suffer for giving me this much pain
i'd hate to see that smile of hers disappear frm her pretty face..
yeah i know im screwed up
i feel that im like, bread iceblend
u know, put a couple pieces of bread, water, sugar and ice into a blender and switch it on
getting a screwed up product in the end
that screwed
yuck, way to go, losing appetite
hai...
i figured, the day we'll be tgt
is when oil and water mix tgt
that is impossible
even if u pray faithfully all day..
juz like us
even if i believe in god
i pray eveyday faithfully for this crappy dream
it'll nvr come true
im..

trying super hard to forget everything
im making myself sound less interested in sms-ing everyday
David Achuleta's A Little Too Not Over You..
thats how im feeling now
hear it, its kinda nice..

hai, main thing for today's post is
everyone out there
stop hating tyan
because of me or not
stop, she's really nice
my taste not that bad bahh... -__-
yep, she's great
she aint flirt, she juz has a lot of guy frends
blame her looks!
and her sweet character!! x_x
u'll know when u get to know her

gonna end with the lyrics of A Little Too Not Over You



theres one part which dun fit my current situation
which is, i din let u go













and now im tryin go do so

May the Heavens strike me
May the Hell burn me
For all that I've done
And for all that I didn't




sweet goodbyes ;;

damn
bathed at 4 and i feel sticky and all again
tsk
gonna take a showe ltr
so gross and yucky
anyw, yeah juz finished dota. means gonna off soon
as usual, met some jackass named biskot31
loser claims he can drive a bmw
sadly he cant think as maturely as he claim he is
he lose den leave game
he die, call ppl maphack
he want to report me, ask me to show replay
wtf sia
smart ass huh?
i a lot of typo error coz of this lousy keyboard
he say i fail english
he call me a kid
when he went on 'afdas asegawe4ga asfasdfga asdasd' for 10 mins
hai
these days, old ppl dick cant erect le so vent frustrations on teenagers like us
he even PAID MEN to dress up as woman to entertain him sia, as he claims
and he finds satisfaction in letting in baby CHICKENS into his car and play with him ToT
may whatever god out there bless him
i think he struck his head on the floor when he was a baby
poor old man
skip the topic

having a debate with tyan on christanity, God.
hai, nvm, skipping that too
anyw debate not over

sian la. tml have tuition
actually more of later today
den still need celebate mom's bday
alamak
tuition hmwk havent do.. tml morning - afternoon do bah
hai
getting more moodless ate each sms recieved frm her
i guess whatever between us
i there is still smth
will be gone for good in no time
geez, cant wait...













goodbye to life, hello to death

gonna b a short post
since its alrdy midnight
feeling sticky and yucky..
dota was crap today
when it's fun, game spikes like zomfg
but the game is perfectly fine when im gettin raped...
oh yes, de world is coming to an end
MY world's coming to an end..
haiz.
less than 10 sms per day
less than FIVE for ytd
ytd as in june 05.
i dunno wat we have became, and what we are becoming
like, a gap of an ocean in between us
hmm. today dota whole day
coz mom outside. father glued himself onto bed watch tv
im gonna get screwed by dad soon thou if i dun off..
yeah..
i guess we are losing this relationship.. this friendship
sweet farewells, my love
for this is the best for u and me













goodbye

my birthday's in a month..
i dun feel excited at all
wats so special abt my birthday,
that should make me feel excited over?

nth

yeah nth's special
i bet i no present this year
again
frm parents, or frm frends
i dun even think my frends noe when's my birthday
neither are they that good lat go buy present for me
im waitin to play l4d
my senior screwed the whole shit so now i cant play the damn game..
btw, class bbq was screwed
to end the day worst, the lan shop was closed
we spent over half hr walkin
and the damn shop is closed
way to go dissappointment
dickhead..

today was not much fun
dota as usual
gettin owned coz team a bunch of useless fags..
not goin into details

mood as usual --- sian
this holiday is gonn be fucked up
it alrdy is la..
but, its btr den sch
coz it gives me the feeling of being dead

dead....



i like...



i can feel
a sudden rush of negative emotions
waiting to be let out
hai hai hai hai...............

someone, ask me out leh..
do whatever also can
just get me outta this crap..
aiya damn moodless la
dunno wat fuck to blog..
err
feel to sticky..
i think i btr fuck off, go bathe and sleep bah













i lose interest in the world as days pass
wat is life?
a journey? or a torment?
who knew? mayb a journey of torment?
wat is love?
punishment? or a hell of a lesson?
who knew? mayb a punishment for u to learn a hell of a lesson
not to love again, hopefully make ur life more interesting by making it less interesting
rotting away..
waitin to be cleared



fuck this world man
bye

commenting on new skin
i like this
for some unknown reasons
haha
i like changin skins
for some unknown reasons
i like being an ass
for some unknown reasons..

bye

hmm
im riskin my ass just to blog
hope my parents wont be back anytime soon
i guess i'll stop all these emo shit
i know u dont like it
nobody does
most probably u dun give a shit anyw
but still
i wanna change
for the btr
not for u
but us
im not gonna make u angry anymore
in fact i dun think i'll be talkin to u anytime soon
unless u talk to me 1st
i'll be tryin to avoid u
i know u hate me
u always lie
lie that u're ok
i know u arent
i just play along
coz i dunno wat to do
i cant influence u no more
my words have no power
neither do my actions
i'll juz play dumb
wat else is there to do?
im attached to u
i know u dislike this
so , i have the huge chainsaw right beside me
im cutting this connection
i know u love it, yes i do
so i wont affect u no more
im not gonna comment on watever u do
i'll try not to give a damn abt wat u do
i think this is de best for both of us
im gonna change
coz i feel damned, corrupted, condemned
well i gotta thnx u
for making me realise
what kinda of shit i am
im sorry for making u
shed those tears, when u used to care abt me
im unworthy, yes..
i've lost everything
and i plan to start anew
im gonna go back to being
that foolish dumb kid
or btr
i'll return to the likes of me when i was a kid
wat my parents wanted me to become again
that innocent good boy
i know
u think a lot
but trust me
i think a lot more than u do
when im in toilet, on bed b4 i sleep, when its de tv commercial
even when im playing dota
sometimes i even dreamt a bt u
haha..
im such a dumbfuck
and u once said
wat happened between me and my long lost bella
is different frm wat happened between u and u far-away edward
if wat u were tryin to say was
u are in a lousier condition den i am
think again..
i'd rather
u dun talk to me at all
avoid me
rather den slipping those love letters u have for ur edward into my ears
u dun have a knife for breakfast, lunch and dinner
i do
u think, seeing the one u love love someone else is pain
wat abt, seeing the one u love, devoting her soul to some other guy
wats that compared to just seeing he love someone else?
a mere pea
ur heart has barricaded itself away m mine
i dun see how much of a friend i am to u anymore
im sorry but i HAVE TO GO
away frm u
its the best for us
i'll be watchin u in de shadows
but i'll also avoid ur light
coz these dark corners are afraid
scared that they'll be illuminated
too bright, eyes burn..

you're smiling again
thats good
i hope ur beautiful voice is back
ur lips are my personal favourite radio station
ur face is my favourite tv chn
u are my pefect present
u presence enlighten me..
too bad i cant get close to u
i..
looks like i..













need to leave..
goodbyes,
with love and care

its midnight..
i was looking at her blog..
thinking..
thinking like i've nvr think b4
u speak like some people are invisible
that hurts
u speak like people dun give a shit
that hurts a lot
u love somebody else like its nobody business
that kills
imagine
every single day
HE blogs abt, how much he loves that other woman
U read it EVERYDAY
how would u actually feel la
happy? sad? hatred? crushed?
at first, i thought
having all of them at the same time is btr den hatred alone
i was dead wrong
i'd rather have one of those only
having all of these
screws me up inside out
u have changed
u said i was insensitive
you are
u said i treat u differently
LOOK WHO'S TALKING MAN
look who's talkin..
right now
i wish
i can NEVER LOVE AGAIN
no emotions
happiness, sadness, pain, anger
all of those
are better off gone
i'd rather
hang that same expression on my face everyday - nothing
i'd rather
totally ignore one's existence
even thou lookin at that person ( female) gives a lil gentle twitch in my heart
im willing to give up all these
inexchange to pull out that damned blade frm my heart
instead of lettin the blood flow continuosly
my herat
is withering
im abt to give up on life
with i doubt anyone out there cares a shit

dun ignore me
end my misery
for my soul's been long gone
wandering out there alone
save my body
find my soul
keep it in a jar
dun let it wander gone
keep me safe
or just destroy me
watever it is
just end my misery

damn
every moment of my life seems meaningless
i shld be happy
but im not
i dun even have that strength
to hang that bloody fucking fake smile anymore
nth satisfy me
nth can, nth will
a pact with de reaper would be made
take away my strength to love, my power to smile
in exchange for those wonderful emotionless days
i dream...













that im dead