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theheartspeaks
Sit down and listen cuz' my heart is speaking
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YILIANG :D
-im awesome:)
-DANCE fills those gaps in my heart:)
-short, fun, entertaining, and sometimes caringg:)
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Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 200810:04 PM
another lame ass post.. mixed with a lot of feelings.. lol.. anyw, lemme remind u noobass flamers, or ppl hu are gonna tag abt how i feel towards her or anythin close



yea, i dun deserve pity frm any1.. wat i post here, wasnt meant for her to see anyw. i noe, im a downright stupid, bitchy, fuckin bloody asshole. i got no brians no brawns no nth. im a low class animal which deserves no fucking respect frm any1 or anythin. but at least respect hu i lyk and tat feelin tat i feel towards her. im a animal but i hav feeling lyk a human. and tis is my life. it suck a lot alrdy.. pls dun make it worse for me.. im beggin u all.. living in de shadows is a fckin shit thing to do.. u dun get noticed by any1.. and i alrdy got prepared for rejection.. its juz tat i din noe i'ld fall tis hardi din noe tat every single moment i'll feel pain.. i always wanted to disappear frm her life.. but i cant find anyw other than suiciding [which im not tat stupid to do](seriously.. ok tat wasnt even a joke) do u noe how it feels to be mixed up with a lot of feelings at once? do u noe, how izzit lyk to feel pain, disappointment, confusion, irritation, pissed, and sad at de same tym? it feels lyk FUCK and MORE.. oint is.. pls tink abt wat u're gonna tag.. dun screw me up again pls..



well.. most of de anger was in de reply-tag.. a lil still up ^^^^^ dere.. now no mood to blog le.. bye..
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Saturday, September 27, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 200810:44 PM
zzz another emo post bah.. i guess... figured out another 'philosophy'.. 1 sided love sucks.. its lyk being strapped to a torture machine, being whipped and hurt everytym, non stop.. after de pain subsides, a new torture arrives.. de only way to leave tis machine is to give up, but tats not wat im gonna do, coz i love her dearly.. and tis age difference suck dick for cryin out loud! dere's so many fuckin things i cant do with her.. and havin tis age thing might b makin her feel.. sort of awkward when im with her.. it'll take her a million centuries to even LYK me.. as in slightly more then a good frend.. at 1st it was so awesome! spent and sacrificed so much tym juz to b with her.. everythin felt lyk its fallin in place, everythin's juz so perfect! now.. tis beautiful picture becomes a scene of death.. now.. im being left alone, in my own world.. left to suffer.. slowly goin insane.. every second tat pass was a nightmare..thou occasionally, she'll come and accompany me.. juz as when i want more, she left with de wind.. picture tis in ur mind. a soothin light comes closer to u, when u are in despair.. slowly a hand forms out frm de light.. as u reach out ur hand to grab it, de hand, and de light, become dust and dirt, blown away and disappears.. its oso sort of lyk, illusions u see, when u're in de desert for days, no food! or when u're stranded on a remote island, and there's not a single soul there... its almost de same as bein in solitary..except, nightmares, demons, haunt u and ur mind every single second

most ppl look forward to de future.. but for me future means more suffering.. i'll stare at de clock, with bloodshot eyes.. being hurt evey minute.. its lyk poison tats runnin slowly thru my blood and veins.. it wun kill, but de pain juz keeps coming.. as i lose my mind slowly.. she'll soothe me for a brief moment, bringin me back my sense.. when im almost satisfied, she leaves.. and de madness rages on.. she cant end it for me, neither can my will.. coz its too weak..

....

coz of tis age difference, i cant have a study 'date' with her, i cant help her whenever she needs it, i cant DO ANYTHING!! ti feel FUCKED UP everyday, screwed up.. messed around.. lyk a soccer ball, kicked around.. i wish i cld get out of tis ethereal darkness... but she's de only key, tat can be fit into tis lock, tats keepin me in... tis suffering, still continues...
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Sunday, September 21, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 20088:59 PM

haiz.. she filled me with more sadness each day.. wth.. goin on to main point of bloggin today...


i met a loser 3days ago.. lemme tell u all the story. tis guy, called Gargron.. made a fuckin lousy tutorial,.. ppl commented sayin tat it sux, and he scold them for tellin him de truth.. lemme compare his, and a proper tutorial.


this is the loser's drawing <<<<<

well the better one was removed.. sadly.. but her webiste is http://bluespirit.bl.ohost.de/. lemme show u the little conver between me and de idiot. start frm de bottom..

"oh ya? here comes my beautiful vocabulary. ur mouth stinks. oh ya, right, i forgot. u shave ur fathers pussy with ur teeth, and shave ur moms rotten dick with ur toenails. u masturbate urself and feed de cum to ur parents. u were born without and ass and u cant ass fuck with ur mom. u're momma's so fat, when she goes to the beach, she's de onkly asshole having a suntan. ur momma's so fat, she need no toilet bowl seat when she's makin a poop. ur momma's so fat, u see a full moon whenever she bents down. ur dick's so long, the firemen use it as a firehose. ur legs are so hairy, when u rub them agaisnt eahc other, u start a forest fire. YOU are so hairy, till today's newpaper headlines says this abt u 'HAIRY MAN BANNED FRM COUNTRY FOR BEING TOO DIRTY'. ur legs are so hairy, u hav fleas living on them. ur fathers pussy are so deep, its the world's 2nd bermuda triangle. if u reply this with things i dun wanna see.. well, there's plenty frm where those came frm. out ur ass bloody fucker. i might be thirteen but dun underestimate me, jerk.
-Date: Sat, 20 Sep 2008 10:57:29 +0200From: gargron@googlemail.comTo: midou_ginji@hotmail.comSubject: Re:
Just to tell the truth: you're a fucking sucker. Fuck off. You can't anything. I won't waste my time on such loosers as you.
-2008/9/20 Sim Yi Liang <midou_ginji@hotmail.com>
If you know ur tutorial sucks, why post it? to show everyone u suck? and, those in ur deviantart aint any better. exspecially the one with ur face on it. YUCK!! makes me wanna barff.. disgusting. i steal others tym, steal ur time, shorten ur time, to make space for another worthy existence. u r a waste of living space. im 13 year-old, buti know more stuffs than u do. and since u are older than me, but ur drawings suck more. who's the lousier one now? and WHY THE FUCK would i be jealous of u? wow that makes total no sense. why, wld i, a better than draw-er than u, be jealous of u, a retard? ha cant wait to post all these on my blog. lets see the comment, results, frm the viewers. u shld be honored, to hav u lame-ass lousy drawings on my bog. i'll compare mine, Zuko/Lee's, and urs. i tink i'll be rated 2nd, Zuko/Lee 1st, and u.. they dun even bother to vote u. unless, i say 'vote for the lousies', and lets see how ashamed u will be.
-Date: Sat, 20 Sep 2008 10:31:08 +0200From: gargron@googlemail.comTo: midou_ginji@hotmail.comSubject: Re:
You suck. Who tells you to use my tutorial? And who says it's my best drawing? You're just silly. You're jealous yourself. And your really drawings, if they're good you wouldn't keep it secret. Haha. You're just a silly jealous asshole. Stealing other's time.
-2008/9/20 Sim Yi Liang <midou_ginji@hotmail.com>
Your're just jealous that people are better than you. You keep the truth away from yourself. You wanna see a real, good tutorial? Here's one. http://bluespirit.bl.ohost.de/drawtylee.html. You're gonna realise that you are lousy, someday. And that's when you will accept the truth. You talk big, when you're just so small. u can ask others to compare, who's better; mine or yours. You speak abot proportions, perspective, when you got nothing. Those in my blog, just daily doodles. Real one's are kept at home away from comments made by idiots like you. I'm speaking english now, no internet slangs, what-so-ever. You aint an artist. Yiou are no better than me. face the truth, 5 year-old kid. You will, and u gonna, sooner or later. oh, and here's one thing to improve, to get u started, repent, and observe others work. and you have a lot of things to catch up with."

den he made a lousy, good-for-nth comment on my art blog, which i hadnt update for a v long tym.. well i tink im also good-for-nth.. in another way...

-nvr online on de right tym to talk to her....

-im juz another toy.. emotionaless.. extists only to be kicked around by ppl

-i only exist to make her smile.. whe she's bored or watsoever.. she wldnt find me...

-after she smiles, she leaves.. once again im alone...

-even if i juz disappears, doesnt affect her ife in any ways..

-i stil cant keep her outta my mind, even thou i tried real hard...

-i still love her. lyk a goddess, angel, princess...

-she affects mey life and my emotions so much, so easily.. woah....

-i wish.. she wld notice me.. for once.. without me tryin to get her attention..

........

[wait.. i got a new hobby.. DANCING.. lol.. unbelieveable eh? i'll show u if u request..] i guess my smiles hav died out.. my only way to get her slightest attention is gone.. how can i.. make her smile.. if.. if i myself... cant? its so difficult to fake a smie for her now...

.............. bye.........

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Thursday, September 18, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 20089:09 PM
great.. a goddamned bloody fucking lousy day.. aiya u all no need read la.. juz fuck off can liao.. feel lyk im a toy, which doesnt have feelings.. and been thrown around, messed around by.. watever... i cant say im not fucking pissed now.. bloody fuck.. everythin in tis world fucks.. same goes for every person now.. my life fucks.. everythin suck balls.. dunno how to do well in tml's exam.. with tis fuckin feelin i have now.. ha.. tats fuckin great im gonna get a fucked up result.. fuckin jew..

GODDAMNED JUZ FUCK OFF WILL U??!! AARRGGHHH CHIBAI!!
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Wednesday, 17 September, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 200810:04 PM
ahh.. dunno how describe today.. sian.. juz finished hist task 1.. anyw, i bought a Warcraft archive novel.. contains 4 of the novels tat i wanna read long ago.. read 1 of them liaoz.. v nice.. ok i bought it for 30.50.. if buy individually its 17.90 for each.. of coz its worth it...

found out 2 girls frm 1k lyk me.. hope its a fake.. and it feels frightenin yet somehow good.. since its kinda rare for stranger girls to lyk me.. 90% is frightenin... AHHH SWITCH TOPIC!!!

finally Avatar : Legends of the Arena is released.. but when i go online, no one's online.. so only can play some lame trainin thing and help me lvl upba lil... its ok la.. but playin with dead stuff aint nice.. I NEED ALIVE PLAYERS!!! hopefully tis game will grow and expand by havin more players to join...

watched de movie Click last night..damn funny.. and quite touchin.. especially when tat main char acci fast forward to de tym when after his father died, and he cldnt see him again.. den he rewind back tym to see his father for de last tym.. slowly he keeps on auto fast forward and he dies.. but de angel of death hu gav him tis universal remote control, decided to give him a second chance and rewinds back tym to when he was at some shop, lyin down on de bed.. de remot control can rewnd tym, but he can only see wats happenin at tat tym, he cant do anyth else... i sort of lyk de angel of death too... haha 'PS ur wife's great body is still drivin me crazy' LOL hahha

ahh sianz... lyndsey's card no value le.. means lesser talkin.. actually now alrdy v less talk to her le lor.. now worst.. since she always pangseh me.. i'ld be liein if i say it TOTALLY DOESNT MATTER.. actually it was tat way.. slowly as de pangseh-in gets more often, i slowly feel abit sad la..

sianz.. well tats all.. bb
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Monday, September 15, 2008
Monday, September 15, 20089:33 PM
ahh.. sian.. now.. sianz-in.. haha.. lyndsey not replyin me.. urgh... ahh nvm.. at least junwen's talkin to her.. haha.. i dun mind la.. if u'ld ask.. thou nowadays seldom chat with her liaoz.. at most is lyk awhile only.. since her replies are lyk.. is fast usually is abt 10-15mins bahh.. slow den can 30-45mins... rarely is immediately.. ahh wth.. doesnt matter.. used to being disappointed till i dun feel it anymo.. lol

anyw, here's my list of games im waitin for, to be released[lol so random] :

Battlefield Heroes
Avatar : Legends of the Arena

supposinly Avatar is released by today.. but until 9.40pm still not released yet..
stupid shit...
juz now played awhile of SFront... pawned ppl again.. there's 1 match.. cld hav won if my stupid mates wld follo my plan.. ahh nvm.. nowmost gamers are idiots..heckcare...

did some revisions today, at sch.. revisin maths...
got a qn wanna ask mr neo.. fcktub he not in.. he say we dun go find him.. more lyk he dun wan us to find him.. stupid asshole.. den tat qn gav a sec2 [liling's frend] to solve.. wah when got back paper.. cheem equations.. barely understood.. oh well juz them erased off...
now gonna be random again.. listin out my disappointments for today...

Disappointments :
1. cant walk with lyndsey to busstop..
2. once again think tat im not important to her.. at all...
3. kenna pangseh by her again...
4. then tot abt junwen n felt bad, guilty..
5. kenna dao by her again..
6. den tot of junwen, and felt bad, guilty, AGAIN
7. every intention to ignore/give up on/watever lyndsey.. [but her graceful smile JUZ KEEP APPEARIN IN MY MIND!! so din do it]
8. now im gonna miss my show for bloggin...
9. wanna ignore the world and its contends..

argh...now my frends all call me despo.. i tink im going crazy too.. head's twirllin around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and... now my life revolves around her.. she sad, i'll try to cheer her cheer[usually works]. if doesnt, i'll be sad too.. she dao me, im sad.. she dun reply me, oso sad.. den i tink im so damn fckin irritatin den feel lyk giving up and givin her her own space to breathe.. den i tink of her, and all those tyms tat i've enjoyed bein with her.. made me dun wanna give up, and persevere.. its workin, for now.. hope it'll continue to amaze me... lyndsey, u enlighten my life, and ur smile is full of wonders:)
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Saturday, September 13, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 20084:11 PM
ahh.. im here to express myself again :0

here's a lil poem, whic a frend in GunZ 'wrote' or copied frm somewhere.. tot its good so.. ya
**ps i dun exactly believe in gods.. to me in de poem, God is sort of an expression..

I asked God for a dollar, God gave me a thousand
I asked God for a cup of water, God gave me a river
I asked God for a friend, God gave me a family
I asked God for an ANGEL, And God gave me YOU:)

as i've told u last night, u are my princess, my queen, my angel, my goddess. u are perfect in my eyes, and nth is as valueable as u. and i've told u b4, im willing to do anythin, to get tat 100% of ur smile.u're a nice girl, tats wat a lot of ppl say. no wait, u are much much more of wat which they spoke.u are beyond describeable by words..ur smile brings me warmth, pls nvr let it die.u lit up de fire of life within me, and u are my pillar of strenght. dun let de fire die out, nor let de pillar collapse.. i'll protect u, with all i got.. dun worry, i'll cheer u up always:)

u gave me a job, in which i'll always excell in it, for u - IM UR PERSONAL MR.SMILES. When u're sad, juz come to me and i'll cheer u up :D

tats all.. BYE
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Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 20089:43 PM
ahh.. been awhile since i've posted.. well anyw, MY ART BLOG AINT DEAD!! i juz no tym to update.. plus de scanner in parents room v inconvenient.. my cous recently bought G Coins.. and he gifted me a ironcrow shotgun and a eternal blue hat. THNX U!!! :)

today recieved a 29/50 for sci test.. dang 1 more mark till A1..shit.. anyw not bad.. ha..
june holi was shit.. nth to do..
on cher day went bak to pri sch.. made pri sch life 'came back'.. played block catchin.. val n.. dang i forgot name.. if i rmb will update.. den play bball.. sza bare foot n play.. i wearing shoes and stepped on him a couple of tyms.. not on purpose la.. i tink im not angry at him le.. but still not willing to talk to him unless necessary.. pri sch bball court de hoop so short.. if i can jump taller or grow taller by abt 7 cm.. preferablely is GROW.. den can dunk liaoz.. my sec sch classmates bballers come my sch play arh.. sure dunk.. except for zi heng.. haha

e lit sux!! hate it.. m n*O sux too..

random..
...
1st wk of sch quite disappointin le.. cant walk with her.. almoast wanted to give up once.. but of course din :) when i tot of givin up not tat i dun lyk her anymo.. is tat i feel lyk... lets juz say its complicated.. sry for sayin tis, junwen, but de more i sms u de more i lyk de sense of gay-ness tinglin within me =.= ROLFMAO coz i usually sms to girls... feel lyk they are de ones hu i cant share how im feelin.. THNX SHAR N JULIA ^.^

junwen, if u read this ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ dun feel bad or anythin.. still can talk ala.. coz de tinglin is startin to fade away le :D

redo-in hist.. dunno wat else to add... tink i gonna send it to m.yeow now.. SENT

now 10pm feels lyk 11pm.. need off comp le..
BYE
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